My teenagers' dark and surly moods, my husband's anxiety, my mother's rare show of displeasure, and my father's anger and frugality, all had great power to destroy my peace of mind. That's why years ago when I picked up a sheet of paper at a meeting entitled "Detaching with Love," it spoke to me. The balance between cutting off our connection to others so we aren't affected by them at all or being so affected by others that we lose ourselves to anxiety, irritability, and muscular tension is...

The current conversation about anxiety and depression is lacking a vital dimension: emotions education. We are now learning that many instances of anxiety and depression are actually symptoms of buried core emotions. These types of symptoms could be prevented with more education surrounding emotions and trauma.

My teenagers' dark and surly moods, my husband's anxiety, my mother's rare show of displeasure, and my father's anger and frugality, all had great power to destroy my peace of mind. That's why years ago when I picked up a sheet of paper at a meeting entitled "Detaching with Love," it spoke to me.

I never knew how much there was to know about how to be with emotions in the body that mitigates anxiety and depression.

Learn how to tend to your emotions in this gentle, compassionate, experiential group class on zoom starting September 13 to November 1, 2023.

What does it mean to “detach with love and openheartedness?”

We all need a basic education in how emotions work in the mind and body! This curriculum makes it easy to share Emotions Education 101.

Access a FREE 12-Class Trauma-Informed Emotion Education Curriculum

Anxiety is a fact of life. There's much we can do to calm ourselves in the short and long-term. Here are some tips for immediate relief.

We Are The Medicine: An Online Festival for Real Human Connection Everyone is welcome! Invite your loved ones, whether they’re far away or you’re cooped up in quarantine together. We can’t wait to connect with all of you. STARTING TODAY June 12th at 4 PM

“Why do some children become sad, withdrawn, insecure, or angry, whereas others become happy, curious, affectionate, and self-confident?” It has something to do with emotions and emotional communication.

After practicing psychotherapy for several years, disgust emerged as an important emotion for trauma healing.

Traumatic stress feels awful. Thankfully, there are small things we can all do to help relax a hyperaroused nervous system.

Traumatic stress feels awful. The body tenses and succumbs to many other physiological changes leading to digestive problems and headaches, for example. Furthermore, children overwhelmed by emotions can’t engage positively in learning as curiosity in the outside world is a byproduct of a calm nervous system, not one that’s in a state of high alert.

Mental health shouldn’t be a dirty word. Still damaging stigmas prevail allowing ignorance to end lives. Judging others or ourselves for our suffering is just plain harsh, not to mention counterproductive. When was the last time telling someone in the midst of a depression to “just get over it” worked? Try never! And using shame as a tactic to “encourage” someone to be what you think they should be only adds to a person’s suffering. Here are 5 enlightened ways to think about mental health:

To prevent and treat trauma, we all benefit from receiving a basic education in how emotions work in the mind and body. Sadly, we don't get this education in our formal schooling. So we must take it upon ourselves to learn.

How To Process Emotions

Current events this week are extremely triggering and traumatic for many. Here are a few tips from a trauma psychotherapist.

To cope with unprocessed emotions, a child’s mind erects defense mechanisms that can lead to depression or worse

What Neuroscience and Emotion Theory Teach About Bullies- And what we can do to intervene.

Mike believed he had a good life and felt lucky for all the things he had. He was married to a loving wife, had a good job, owned a nice house and had three healthy kids. Despite all his good fortune, Mike could not shake the nagging feeling that he wasn’t enough: "I should be more successful. I should make more money. I should be where my boss is. I should have a graduate degree. I should have a bigger house. I should have more friends." These were some of the “shoulds” that plagued him...

Welcome to episode 134 of the Therapy Chat Podcast with host Laura Reagan, LCSW-C. This week, we’re delighted to welcome back Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW. In this episode, Hilary speaks to me all about her amazing new book “It’s Not Always Depression”. Hilary grew up in New York City in a culture of "mind over matter." Raised by a psychiatrist and a guidance counselor, family time included analyzing her thoughts and dreams. Feelings were rarely mentioned (except perhaps to discuss how to get...

Modern life is full of emotional challenges. The pressure to succeed, need to “keep up,” fear of missing out and desire for good relationships and work satisfaction can all evoke volatile combinations of emotions. However, what we learn in our society is not how to work with our emotions, but how to block and avoid them. We do it quite well: Between alcohol use, prescription drug use and screen time, there are a multitude of ways to avoid our feelings. When we do acknowledge them, we swat...

This month It’s Not Always Depression was launched by Random House. I’m sharing it with you because it is full of important information on how to understand emotions, work with the scars left from adverse childhood experiences, and move towards calmer and authentic living. Recently, I was interviewed by Jill Karson, a member of this wonderful community. Here's a quote from our interview: "It is my pet peeve that our society provides us no formal education in emotions and how adversity and...

Sometimes my patients tell me they feel hopeless. They know they repeat self-destructive behaviors. They know they should break away from unhealthy relationships. They are aware of their critical self-talk and the ways they keep themselves small. When my patients lose hope, I hold it for them. Although change takes work, my conviction that the brain and mind heal is unwavering. Everyone knows that the body heals itself. You fall and scrape your knee. Then, if you take care of your wound...

I was at my dentists office the other day when I heard the assistant, I’ll call her Emily, talking with the office receptionist. Emily asked her boyfriend to buy an anxiety cube. My ears perked up when I heard the word “anxiety” so I asked how the cube worked and if she suffered with a lot of anxiety. She smiled sheepishly nodding yes. I told her I was a psychotherapist and asked if she wanted me to share a bit of education that might help. She and the office receptionist both nodded yes. I...

There are many myths and “shoulds” about how families and holidays should be: Families should love each other. Families should get along. Holidays should be fun. Reality, however, does not reflect these “shoulds.” The facts are: many people do not have happy families, happy family memories or happy holidays. Therefore, holidays and families can trigger us into states of anxiety, shame, and misery. Perhaps your parent or child is mean to you, or you have an active alcoholic uncle that makes...

Moving past life's disappointments is not an easy task. It is easy to get stuck in regrets. This article is about getting unstuck.

Being frequently yelled at changes the mind, brain and body in a multitude of ways including increasing the activity of the amygdala (the emotional brain), increasing stress hormones in the blood stream, increasing muscular tension, and more.

The news is heartbreaking and past trauma underpins so much of our fear and judgment. Wanted to post this for another hopeful angle. Healing is possible!

The thought of going to a funeral used to be a terrifying prospect for me. Walking into a room filled with sadness and grief evoked — well — an intense desire not to go. Anxiety was all I could feel. It obscured the emotions I wanted to have like sadness and compassion. And, I secretly felt ashamed that I didn’t have “the right feelings." It was not death itself that bothered me--it was being in the presence of grief. Why did sadness make me so anxious? Why did it turn me into a vibrating,...

Don Draper was a survivor of childhood trauma. But, when we first met Don, the protagonist of the acclaimed television series Mad Men, we met a man who had it all. He was at the pinnacle of his career, happily married to his gorgeous wife, Betty, father of two adorable children, and living in a big house in one of the fanciest suburbs of Westchester. His haughty, arrogant and aloof facade was easily mistaken for genuine confidence. We soon found out, however, that Don was a man with flaws.

Seth’s natural impulse was to shy away from showing affection to his girlfriend. That made perfect sense to me since he grew up with a father who rarely showed affection to anyone in the family. Seth’s grandfather was an alcoholic who punished his children harshly. Seth understood his father received very little love and tenderness and probably never received any physical comfort like a hug or pat on the back. The lack of intimacy between father and son extended back through the generations.

People recover from the everyday traumas of childhood in many different ways. Here's a personal experience I thought to share. Although it is slightly embarrassing for me to admit certain aspects of myself in this post, I feel proud of it too. This might resonate for you if your curious about your response to disappointment.

The majority of us never learned that anxiety is a cue that we have important emotions pushing up for expression. We can use our anxiety as a signal to look deeper and ask ourselves what emotions are underneath.