Do you notice yourself second-guessing most people? Is the lack of trust you feel with others impacting your relationships? Did you know that lack of trusting others can be a trauma response? Do you worry that your trauma responses are getting in the way of healing? Do you feel your inability to trust people is holding you back? Trouble trusting can be a familiar struggle on the road to recovery from complex trauma . And if you’re wondering about this, you’re not alone! Today we’re going to...

Recently, Brickel and Associates Founder and Clinical Director, Robyn Brickel, MA, LMFT sat down with Diana Clark from Beyond the Balance Sheet to discuss all things trauma. During this episode, they discuss the true nature of trauma and dispel any misconceptions surrounding it. Furthermore, Robyn delves into the three-stage trauma model, encompassing safety, stabilization, and addressing the root cause. This episode promises valuable insights into treatment methods, the dispelling of...

Are your healthcare providers communicating? Do your doctors talk to each other? Are they collaborating with your therapist? Your dietician? If not, it’s time they do! Here’s why… We are all interconnected beings! Parts of us do not exist outside of our whole being. Systems thinking — the Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) education — is the foundation for my therapeutic degree and practice. Understanding that we are based in connections (systems) — everything is interconnected. Social...

The High Heels and Heartache podcast recently featured Robyn Brickel, M.A., LMFT, the founder and clinical director of Brickel and Associates. In this episode, What is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)?, Robyn delves into complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) while sharing what it is, outlining best practices for recovery, and examining how it is both similar and different to PSTD. Robyn’s expertise in the field of mental health and trauma helps to shed light on CPTSD,...

Recently Brickel and Associates’ owner and clinical director, Robyn Brickel, MA, LMFT sat down with Pain 2 Possibilities as a speaker for their The Willow Tree Chronic Pain & Trauma Online Summit. During this conversation Robyn Brickel discusses EMDR and goes into detail about trauma-informed care. Watch the full interview below.

https://brickelandassociates.com/where-did-all-this-judgment-come-from/

Recently Brickel and Associates owner and clinical director, Robyn Brickel, MA, LMFT joined Dr. Natasha Beauvais and Dr. Cecily Havert on episode five of the Living Breathing Medicine podcast. During their discussion, they shared important topics such as trauma-informed care, a “bottom-up” approach to treating trauma, and the mind-body connection. Discover more about their insightful conversation on the importance of creating a safe environment for quality care in mental and physical health.

One of our most popular articles of all time is on Loving a Trauma Survivor . This article continues that idea — how to help a trauma survivor, in a healthy, positive way. Loving a trauma survivor may mean you also want to help them in many ways. You may want to help them heal, help them live an easier life, and help them be happy! This is natural and usually comes from a loving, kind, generous place. While your help and support can begin in wonderfully positive ways — do you ever feel...

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you make them feel.” – Maya Angelou Finding hope, let alone holding hope as a thread through life these days, can seem like a tough task for so many. Trauma survivors often struggle to find or hold hope in their lives. It’s understandable when so much pain has been endured in life — when you have not been able to trust anyone to do the relational job they were supposed to. It’s so very hard...

Change in the most basic form means to become or make something different. Changes happen for everyone, whether they are small or large. They can be detours on the road due to construction, your favorite coffee shop closing, your child going to school, a relationship beginning or ending, or any transition in life . I think we can all agree that change can be hard ! And it’s especially hard for trauma survivors (and since the COVID pandemic, many believe we have all experienced some trauma...

People need support. Absolutely. Providing support is a foundational principle to a therapist’s role because, as said beautifully by Brené Brown, “what we don’t need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human.” Trauma-informed therapists, however, need to be more . They need to create a safe space for healing, always, which means being more than just supportive. People come to therapy when their survival strategies are no longer working, right? They are in distress, and looking for...

As the world starts a new year, we start a new day — and every day is an opportunity for growth and change. Every day is a good day to take care of ourselves. You don’t have to start on January 1 st with a New Year’s Resolution , and you don’t have to wait until next year if you have already missed starting on the first. Give yourself permission to start taking care of yourself every day! Last blog post article I wrote, I provided some guidance on how to notice your needs with compassion .

The hard parts of life happen every day. Sometimes everything feels like a hard part — especially for trauma survivors. Being in traffic Arguing with partner Running late A dog growling Rising gas prices A certain smell Someone’s tone of voice An interaction that feels uncomfortable The news / war / lack of safety / COVID The list goes on… Hard parts could be anything, really. And finding a healthy coping strategy can be challenging. For people without trauma in their history, they know that...

What if nothing feels “right”? When it comes to making choices, sometimes there’s a clear winner. The decision is easy. But it seems like these days especially, every choice is harder. There are so many shades of grey. Confusion and uncertainty persist. Information is constantly changing, and we don’t know what’s accurate or what’s going to happen next. With access to COVID vaccines, it seemed like we were coming to a light at the end of the tunnel. Now as the delta variant continues to...

It was an honor to join Laura Reagan LCSW-C for another talk on her Therapy Chat podcast . In this conversation, Laura and Robyn described what the terms “top-down” and “bottom-up” mean in reference to trauma therapy and how to help survivors heal. “Bottom-up” therapy always begins with finding and exploring safety and stability for our clients. Once there is an established safer foundation, including calmer nervous system, clients can begin to notice what happens for them on the inside or...

So many relationship experts have embraced the idea of love languages. They became popular with Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, The 5 Love Languages, for the ways partners show love and care: acts of service, physical touch, words, gifts, quality time. Yet none of these can exist in a meaningful, enriching way without one basic element — safety . Safety is the foundation for all of the love languages. Safety is the prerequisite for everything else in a healthy relationship. This post addresses...

The word trauma is so important to help those who suffer from emotional injury. Yet people so often think of trauma as only including physical or sexual injury. Many overlook its role in their overall health and quality of life. They don’t know they are struggling with a changed nervous system that leads to a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms. Confusion about the emotional injury we call trauma is a barrier to care. That’s why it’s important to help more people understand the...

Trauma can take many forms. You may have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Most people have at least heard of PTSD, as it relates to veterans. Did you know it impacts many others as well? Have you heard of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (complex PTSD or CPTSD )? People often ask how CPTSD and PTSD are similar and different. I want to help more people have a deeper understanding of what they are experiencing and ultimately get the help they deserve. My goal, as a...

One of the positive outcomes of the COVID-19 pandemic is that it has increased mental health awareness. Limiting our activities and contact with others has led to so much talk about fear, loneliness, disconnection and mental health. These experiences have made people notice their needs and feel more comfortable seeking help. More people now seek therapy For some, actually getting help has been easier because they could reach out from their living rooms and receive virtual therapy. Yet for...

I shouldn’t feel this way. I should know better. I should have learned my lesson. I should be able to handle this by now. I shouldn’t still be upset about this breakup/death/situation. I would like to hereby eliminate the word “should” in statements like these. I’d like to remove the word “should” from the collective vocabulary of trauma survivors. I’d like to see most everyone else eliminate shoulds for that matter! These statements serve no positive purpose, they only attempt to criticize...

If you and your partner want to pursue couples therapy, that’s commendable! There is so much hope and help available in therapy. What if you’re dealing with intimate partner abuse or violence (IPV)? Therapy for domestic violence requires a trauma-informed approach. You may be asking: Can therapy for domestic violence really help? Can couples therapy make things worse? If domestic violence (DV) or abuse exists in your relationship – whether through experience or the fear of it — safety must...

I learned an important concept about how to feel emotions again safely – especially after trauma– over 26 years ago from my favorite graduate school professor, the late Terry Taylor Smith, LMFT: “And” is a powerful word. As a concept for healing, it’s life-changing. Once you start to employ this concept in your life, the possibilities are pretty incredible. I can’t think of a better time to write about how to feel and hold emotions. When so many are feeling numb and overwhelmed, “and” is...

You might be standing in a room with hundred-dollar bills blowing everywhere, but if you can’t catch any, or even notice them, you won’t have any extra money in your pocket. Gratitude works the same way. If you don’t even notice the opportunity to feel gratitude or know how to catch it, then you can’t hold much appreciation for it and your life won’t be altered in any positive way. We all need something positive to hang onto, to build hope and motivation moving forward. That’s why I want to...

Have you ever struggled to get past a vague sense of hurt, or a gut-wrenching life experience? People sometimes feel stuck with the same old job, the same pain or fear, or the same daily grind. Maybe, deep down, you feel you’re not good enough, worthy, or capable of a better life. Such self-limiting behaviors may be after-effects of trauma. A therapeutic treatment to heal deep trauma is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR . Learn more on Brickel & Associates -->

How are you coping with so much time at home? Whether you call it lockdown, sheltering in place, or quarantine, just about everyone’s work-life balance has been disrupted. We need to nurture ourselves even more than usual these days. We are all in need of more self-care, gentleness and especially healthy boundaries in relationships! Your schedule and your life are probably quite different now than they were before COVID. Many are feeling disruptions like work reconfiguration and job loss,...

Good cheer, happiness, family and a spirit of giving are a big part of the holiday season. But for many people, stress and loneliness are major players that upset plans to stay positive. If your tension level rises when the decor goes up, you are not alone. It is common for some people to feel more anxious or lonely as the season begins. Holiday stress can trigger negative thinking that builds on itself. To avoid this cycle, we can take this opportunity to find new comforts and enjoy the...

My clients aren’t running around town wearing “I’m a trauma survivor” t-shirts. Of course they aren’t. Who wants to announce that bad things happened to them? No one! And yet, unfortunately, many live with the aftereffects of trauma every day and don’t know it. Trauma is what happens to your nervous system after you’ve felt unsafe and scared, and powerless to escape or protect yourself. If a person can’t eventually resolve that sense of danger, that person’s nervous system is likely to...

Who knew when the year started we’d be separated from loved ones for months? And here we are, canceling celebrations, work and vacation plans, and not even hugging our friends. We are facing more stress – financial, emotional, social – than anyone could have imagined. We haven’t seen the full impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on mental health yet. But as therapists, we know that as chronic stress continues, more people will experience depression and even suicidal thoughts. Let’s not wait to...

Are you a reader? We've compiled a list of our favorite resources for supporting your mental health. Check them out here and stay tuned as we are hoping to update this list with even more titles soon! https://brickelandassociates.com/books/

I invite you to notice the feeling you have when I say vulnerability is strength! Does it feel like a pit in your stomach? A lump in your throat? Does the idea of being vulnerable scare you? I am asking you to think about what’s not working for you in your life. Have you been trying to handle everything yourself? Do you think that is what strong people should do? Are you keeping secrets so that others only know the person you think you’re supposed to be ? Are you trying to seem “perfect”?

Recovering from trauma takes hard work, and often survivors wish the recovery process could go faster. A new client recently asked me, “Should I be exercising? Doing yoga? Meditating? What can I be doing physically to help me heal or recover more quickly? What else can I do to get through all of this?” It was a great question, so today, I’m going to address it in case you’ve been wondering too. Trauma impacts everything from how we think to how our body responds to the things around and...

It is easy to feel confused, worried, helpless, and to have many questions when watching a loved one struggle with substance abuse. You may find yourself asking “What can I do?” The first step towards helping a loved one who struggles with substance dependence is to understand the role of trauma in addiction. The struggle with addiction is painful and often deadly, but it is often a symptom and coping response to the trauma that they have experienced. Drug Chemistry Is the Wrong Explanation...

Healthy relationships matter, especially when it comes to healing from trauma. Asking for help can be difficult for everyone. It can be especially difficult for those who have survived trauma. Through therapy, it’s possible to realize that you do truly deserve deep relationships as you grow and evolve through life—in the good times and the hard times.

The journey toward mental wellness and self-care can be especially challenging for trauma survivors. According to the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD) Trauma is literally translated to “wound, injury, or shock,” and Esther Giller of the Sidran Institute says “[trauma] refers to extreme stress that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope.” With these statements in mind, we can begin to understand the challenges trauma survivors face when working toward...

Feeling confident and attractive in today’s world is a huge challenge for all of us. Images, voices and messages from mainstream media can get in our heads, holding us up to impossible standards. Self-acceptance and healthy sex after trauma can be even more challenging for those with a history of sexual abuse. Add those unrealistic ideals to past abuse or trauma, which lends itself to a negative self-concept, and a person can be left struggling with a very painful self-image. So much of what...

A healthy relationship — one based on love, compassion and caring — is one place a trauma survivor can learn positive ways to experience sexual pleasure, desire and consent. Healthy relationships for trauma survivors can be tremendous places to heal.

By understanding the difference between sex and sexual abuse, trauma survivors can understand that unwanted touching they experienced in the past was not sex. Sex is always consensual in a way that feels safe and pleasurable. Abuse occurs without your consent, and is never your fault.

We focus on self-care in trauma-informed therapy. But it's all too easy to forget to apply it to yourself! Even if you’re well on your way to healing, it’s important to remember that your past experiences may still impact the way you take care of yourself today.

As a trauma survivor, you may worry that the attachment style you learned is less than ideal. Please know that any attachment style can change to become more secure. Attachment styles aren’t set in stone! Learning about attachment can begin a journey of self-compassion, healing, and a deeper understanding of secure relationships.

Dear Evan Hansen as a story inspires compassion for someone with struggling with intense emotions and troubled relationships. For me, it drives home a larger truth -- how vital our need is to create safe emotional connection, no matter what.

People who have experienced trauma may feel greater sensitivity for others because of what was missing in their own lives. Rogers saw the need to use broadcast media to ask people to respect and love themselves and each other, starting with the child in all of us.

We have options when it comes to adapting to change. Taking positive steps toward change ultimately helps to broaden a person’s emotional window of tolerance. Facing change supports healing, and ultimately helps enhance one's life experience.

When I recommend the need for self-care to trauma survivors, they say it can feel like a chore. Some of them even roll their eyes and tell me, “You mean you want me to take care of myself? Ugh. Who has time for that?!” It’s tempting for any person to undervalue self-care. But for trauma survivors, resistance to self-care has much deeper roots. Healing takes a focused, gentle approach. Self-Care as a Practice of Welcoming Your Needs Many trauma survivors learned to do without self-care...

Adolescence awakens new emotions, social experiences and physical energy for many people. It’s often a time when young people try new things, make new friends, depend less on parents, and live more passionately. But as an adult, your role is still important. You can have a positive impact on helping your loved ones avoid the dangers of teen substance use. Adolescence is also a time when some explore alcohol or drugs (such as heroin, cocaine, marijuana, and prescription medicine, among other...

Self-care is the sum of things you do for your emotional and physical wellbeing. Getting enough sleep, brushing your teeth, and eating well are classic examples of good physical self-care. How to take good care of yourself emotionally may be harder to see from the outside. Your ability to view your inner world with compassion and curiosity is one sign. Noticing your emotions and thoughts with gentle awareness is another inward sign of emotional self-care. Knowing how to find and turn to...

The term trauma-informed care is a very important concept. A trauma-informed therapist is aware of the complex impact of trauma (any perceived trauma) on a person’s suffering and how it shapes a person’s efforts to cope. A trauma-informed approach integrates a thorough knowledge of this impact into every aspect of treatment. It also means that any person or organization that claims to be trauma-informed makes emotional and psychological safety a priority for the people they serve.

Learning to live in the moment is a special gift of a healthy childhood. That’s ideally when we discover simple pleasures like playing with crayons, learning to ride a bicycle, and making friends. We also start to realize that in healthy secure relationships, parents are there for their children. But sometimes, terrible things happen that twist happiness into something horrible. A parent’s rage, a bully’s ridicule, bouts of depression or waves of loneliness can shatter a moment’s joy to...

On November 7, Virginia voters elected Danica Roem to the Virginia House of Delegates. Roem is the first openly transgender state legislator in America. Her campaign focused on local issues, especially improving traffic problems, which resonated with voters. But she has also broken a cultural barrier that brings attention to the LBGTQ community. Her public life opens new opportunities for us to talk about transgender issues. Some of us may feel we’re in unfamiliar territory, and would like...