This is a time of incredible stress, uncertainty and change across the world. Unlike many stressful experiences, we don’t know when the impact of the Covid-19 will ease so that life can return to something closer to normal. We just know that our lives have been impacted in ways we could not have anticipated only a few months ago. Here I want to provide you a little something that might help you get through this. When It’s Too Much Toolkit A few years ago in response to the fires in Sonoma...

I recently came across an incredible interview with Oprah Winfrey , a huge advocate for doing our deep personal work. This part stands out for me the most: " Most people don't know where they want to go . A lot of people are being driven by what they think they should do, what other people say they should do, what they have carried in their mind for a long time what they should do. But the most important question you can ever ask yourself is 'What do I really want?' Once you can establish...

In my opinion when we can’t say “no,” we also can’t say a fully committed “yes” to our heart’s deepest desires. We get mired in the quicksand of ambivalence rather than the clarity of clear our clear yes and no. We feel stuck and trapped rather than clear and free. Dr. Heller says that expressing healthy anger really matters because when we say no/stop, we take our own side and have our own back rather than turning on or giving up on ourselves.

“I had a good childhood. There was always food on the table and a roof over my head. So why do I feel stuck all of the time?” Do you wonder why you often feel unsatisfied in your relationships or why your professional life goes nowhere in spite of lots of effort? Or why you never feel seen? What if during your early years you experienced lots of misattunement?

In my opinion we as ACEs/trauma educators must be very mindful that whether we talk about ACEs in front of a large group of people or one on one, it’s not just information. We are giving people an experience, an experience that may rock them to their core especially if they have never heard the information before.

How many times have you done this with a client or in some other situation where someone wants something from you or just has a different opinion than you? It might be in your personal life when you and your partner decide to buy a house and they fall in a love with a property that you can’t stand and you suck it up and agree to it anyway. It might be with an adult child who has moved back home, doesn’t have a job, isn’t paying rent and watches movies all day while leaving the house a mess. W

My colleague, Brad Kammer, shared a great journal article on the long term effects of ACEs on our physiology. The graphic alone that they created is super helpful in seeing visually how ACEs affect us holistically. I have attached the graphic here so you can see the whole image. From the article: The identification of factors related to risk and resilience in the wake of child abuse is a matter of central importance for public health interventions ( 465 ). Understanding the pathways...

At the urging of a colleague, I have created an infographic that describes the expansion/contraction process that occurs as part of healing from ACEs.

In our professional lives we constantly talk about mindset. Positive mindset, worth mindset, goal-oriented mindset, focused mindset. This list is long. We all have mantras, affirmations, activities and favorite quotations we use to shift our state of mind. Of course, a positive mindset is a good thing. But ever wonder why we struggle with mindset in the first place? Why is it a constant battle for you to stay efficient, focused and effective? Safety First What if our primary mindset started...

“I so don’t belong on this team!” I think to myself swearing under my breath as I sit in a meeting with my colleagues analyzing a problem we are having. One of my colleagues has just described a technical concept in such beautiful depth that I feel completely out of place. When I compare myself to her, I find myself utterly lacking. I tell myself that I was supposed to know that. I feel like a fraud and I just want to hide. I feel myself retreating, less inclined to contribute and more...

I walk through the hardware store innocently enough gathering stuff for the latest round of fix-it projects on my new home. In the background I’m grappling with life direction yet again, this latest round of doubt in my own usefulness spurred by an external catalyst that came very suddenly out of left field. Quickly I find myself tightening my chest, thoughts racing there in the middle of the familiar store full of helpful people. I pause to watch this internal show and I realize I am consumed b

Please forgive the snarky title. I want to address something pervasive that I see in the business and personal growth community and I have strong feelings about it. I was on Facebook the other day reading a piece by yet another business leader telling me to just simply let go of my fear of being visible. I’ve seen hundreds of versions of this created by well-meaning leaders, coaches and healers of all kinds. Sound familiar?