I was 5 years old when I had my first encounter with trauma. Too young to comprehend the magnitude of the situation, my first grade class participated in a “Good Touch/Bad Touch” workshop,centered around educating and recognizing signs of sexual abuse. I found relief in finding a safe place to lay down the burden I had been carrying. I went straight to the school counselor and told her, in vivid description, the intimate details of my unwarranted molestation. I remember the grueling...

I thought for sure this rehab would mimic the scene of a psychiatric hospital, and my contempt couldn’t have proven to be more inaccurate. Not only did the treatment center educate and provide resources on recovery from long-term substance abuse, but the therapists also diagnosed me with anxiety and complex PTSD. At first I assumed my drug use was the culprit of these untreated mental health disorders. The underlying mental disorders were only “adding fuel to the fire” and ultimately led to...

Many people around the world suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and there are many underlying factors that contribute to this disorder - especially for our veterans. Addiction is also very common amongst veterans struggling with PTSD. This disorder often occurs after an individual has experienced an extremely traumatic situation such as physical or sexual assault, natural disaster, terrorist attack, combat, etc. PTSD can also be caused by simply witnessing one of these...

Addiction, anxiety, and depression can be all-consuming and enslaving. When I was spending every night, isolated in my room, indulging in opiates and vodka - my entire world hyper-focused and revolved around my pain. It was certainly not the life I was choosing - or so I thought. My messy head was tortuous, chaotic, and I felt absolutely powerless against it. All of my thoughts were amplified extensions of: “You are never going to be enough and you are unworthy of love and happiness.” I did...

For as long as I can remember, my concept of love was tainted. Love was presented to me as something that was given with conditions and impossible expectations. After years of confusion, I began to replace love with codependency. The grips of codependency brought me to my knees long before I indulged in any mood/mind altering substance. Before I ever picked up a drink/drug, my addictive nature preyed upon validation and approval. Maybe traumas and the environment of my childhood propelled my...