Last month, Elon Musk endorsed “Bad Therapy,” a new book written by a reporter that places blame on mental health therapists and trauma-informed care as the cause of the children’s mental health crisis. The book proposes that children’s mental health professionals are taking advantage of their clients by intentionally keeping them in a therapy loop to make money. The author also posits that the trauma-informed movement is the catalyst of the children’s mental health crisis and is...

As a trauma therapist, I would often fall into the role of trying to reduce unwanted behaviors in children to help the family, but it never worked. The behaviors we see in response to trauma are deeply uncomfortable for adults to witness, but this is not about us and our feelings. When caring for children with trauma, I believe our first priority is safety and trust, not behavior change. When the child feels safer and more secure, the behavior could naturally change, but this can’t be our...

The Connections Matter Academy is a set of engaging videos designed to educate young people about trauma and how it impacts their life. We created it to inspire teens to begin their healing process, break the cycle of intergenerational trauma, and reach their highest potential through healthy connections with others. What exactly is The Connections Matter Academy? An educational, inclusive, and entertaining animated series to help teens and young adults cope with trauma Co-created by Beth...

It's the middle of the night. My Nokia cell phone vibrates me awake somewhere under the covers, and I manage to locate it just enough to hit silent. A few moments later, the vibrating is present again. This time I look to see that it's my brother in a time zone three hours behind me, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. I'm just too sleepy. The third round of vibration begins. "Alright, I better answer this"…. Me: "Hello?" Brother: "Mom's dead! Mom's dead!" (Heaving and sobbing). What...

Does your child refuse to leave the playground or other locations without a meltdown? Transitions between activities are tough for toddlers and preschoolers, but especially for those children who have experienced trauma and loss. Children who have experienced traumatic changes in their life like divorce or removal from parents will see ending enjoyable activities as yet another loss. At the same time, they are constantly assessing their level of security, and boundary-pushing is a quick way...

As I sat down to write my annual Happy New Year newsletter to my email list, I paused. Something didn't feel right. Every time I see an email headline with "Happy New Year!" from the newsletters I subscribe to it falls flat. Who is truly happy after what has transpired over the last year? "Happy New Year" seems like a tall order right now, and I think it's beneficial to accept and acknowledge that reality rather than live in denial. As a mom I am tired of putting on the charade that life is...

Suffering is an expected part of this journey because resilience is a muscle that we strengthen over time and experiences. However, developing this muscle is most effective when encouraged by warm, loving, and responsive caregiving.

"The C.A.R.E.S model provides a step-by-step approach for gaining consent before attempting to co-regulate with an emotionally unregulated child."

A big part of building resilience in children is to increase the amount of time we spend in healthy interaction with our children. The more positive interactions we have, the stronger our bonds to each other grow. The stronger the bonds, the more emotional stability a child will possess.

Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything!

Psych Central published my latest article on trauma and it's one you don't want to miss! Through my work with children coping with Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) the historical trajectory became very clear to me. Often childhood trauma doesn't start with the child who was traumatized, but it starts with the parents and grandparents of that child who were overwhelmed by adversity and never had help. Unprocessed emotional trauma is likely to be passed on in some capacity to at least the...

When an affirmation works, we gather real-life examples our brain can use as evidence that success IS possible, which changes the way we think. In my work with children, I find that this tool can work magic at home and in school! When we challenge our thoughts with evidence that a positive result is possible, it can stop negative thinking in its tracks.

All parents are flawed. We all fall short of being the parents our child needs and wants us to be. Our parents weren't perfect, either. As a result, many of us carry around childhood wounds that weigh us down and hold us back from our full potential. Thankfully, there is an inner child in all of us, right now, that we can send unconditional compassion, nurturing, and love to. "Reparenting" is a concept used in psychotherapy that empowers you to overcome the pain from childhood without...

Have you ever lost a loved one who was still a part of your life in some way? Did it leave you feeling confused or frozen about how to continue with life? If you have, you might find it comforting to know there is language to describe this experience. It's called ambiguous loss , or as some refer to it "grief limbo," and you may be experiencing this phenomenon right now as we face the losses associated with Covid-19. Covid-19 has upended our sense of normalcy and safety in many homes across...

I'm just going to say it, Mother's Day sucks for some people. As this day approaches each year a familiar feeling creeps over me. It appears at first as irritability and fatigue but eventually reveals itself as my old friend "unresolved grief." I lost my mom suddenly in 2005, and later became a therapist for children in the foster care system. These life experiences make me acutely aware that not everyone has a mom to celebrate on Mother's Day. Some mothers abandon their children. Some...

I am a therapist who has to make an effort each day to manage my anxiety and negative emotions. Therapists are not usually open about their mental health in our culture; we are looked to as the expert and someone who has it "all together." But I became a therapist for two reasons, to help understand my brain, and to use what I learned to help others. I find that being transparent about my mental health inspires others to share their truths. Human beings are a work in progress. We know this...

Before the pandemic, grandparents raising grandchildren were already in a precarious situation. They were struggling to meet the needs of children exposed to maltreatment and trauma while also supporting the family financially. But now, we fear, things have made a critical turn for the worse while those grandparents become unemployed, sick, or in the worst-case scenario, die due to Corona Virus.

Our physical health is not the only form of health that is in jeopardy right now. The emotional health of our families is also at risk, and it can help to take proactive steps now to mitigate psychological damage to your children and prevent a silent aftermath of this outbreak.

With the headlines about Covid-19 shouting, "it's the end of the world," I'm sure you are all feeling *slightly panicked right along with me. This is a scary time for America and the world. There is a lot of uncertainty, and it is entirely reasonable to feel anxious and afraid. If you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety, you can find help here. I am writing to share my hope. When faced with tragedy, we can succumb, or we can rise. I am going to choose to rise every.single.time and I hope...

Are you struggling to help a child who has been through hard times? Does the child seem unreachable, unmanageable, and unwilling to try? Are you at your at the end of your rope with explosive behavior? If so, I have a concept to share with you that might help the two of you connect and increase positive interactions within your family or classroom. I want to start by saying that it can be incredibly frustrating and anxiety-provoking to witness a child who is suffering emotionally without the...